Questions to Ask Your Doula

So many people wonder “What Do I ask a Doula?”. How DO you know if the person you are meeting with for short consultation is going to be the right person for you and your family? What questions do you ask them? What is important? How do you decide??

If you ask Google, the trusty search engine will give you many articles composing of mostly the same few questions:

1. Are you certified?
2. How many births have you attended?
3. Why did you become a doula?
4. Do you have/want your own kids?

Or some other variation of the above. These questions, though they might be important, most likely will not tell you what you truly need to know. This is what the will tell you, however:

1. Are you certified? (This will tell you that they paid a specific organization for their certificate. Look into the organization to find out if their values align with yours!)
2. How many births have you attended? (It will give you a number)
3. Why did you become a doula? (This question will give you insight, but I have yet to meet a doula who didn’t answer “To help people.”)
4. Do you have/want your own kids? (This genuinely does not give you insight into how capable someone is at providing support)

“Well then, what do I need to know, Diana?” Well, I’m so glad you’ve asked!!

When you’re interviewing a Doula, the most important part of the process will be finding out how they make you feel. Why is this the most important thing, you ask?

Well, a Birth Doulas primary role is emotional and physical support, followed closely by providing evidence based information when you request it.

Now, information is fairly easy to obtain. I personally have not experienced every situation and so when something happens that is new or different, I can usually either consult another doula, a book, a study, or some other form of literature. Typically, doulas all have the ability to sift through information and find the things they need.

When it comes to physical support, there are a limited amount of positions we can have you try, some that do slightly different things or might help in slightly different ways, sure. But there is very much a finite number of positions, and once more, a list of these positions is easy to obtain.

BUT. When it comes to emotional support, you need a bond. You need to feel like you can trust the person who is supporting you. You need to feel like they are competent, reliable, will unconditionally support you in the choices you make when it comes to caring for yourself and your family, or any feelings/thoughts you may have, and that they will get you through whatever it is you are feeling.

So, how do you figure out if someone will be able to emotionally support you?

Well, first you have to ask yourself what it is you value and see as a measure of the things mentioned above. You are also going to have to consider what kind of things you find comforting when you are in pain, and find out if the person you are interviewing is comfortable with those things.

For example, I value straightforward, honest answers to questions, even if those answers are going to be hard to hear. I like to understand everything that is going on, so I value openness in communication and the willingness to share information even if I haven’t asked for it necessarily. When in pain or discomfort, I do not like to be touched anywhere but my hand or asked too many questions, and I don’t like bright lights or loud noises. I am also very stubborn and need a lot of encouragement/motivation occasionally, and someone to just hold my hand quietly other times.

Some of the questions that I would prepare to ask any doulas I would be interviewing might look like:

1. How would you get a client to change positions or move during labour if they really didn’t want to?
2. How do you handle a situation where a client who was previously adamant about having an unmedicated birth asks for an epidural suddenly?
3. How do you deal with a clients’ question or request for something being ignored by health care providers?
4. If I don’t want to be touched or have counter pressure applied during contractions, what are some other ways you are comfortable with providing physical support?
5. How do you handle a situation where something is happening that the client doesn’t understand?
6. If your client requested hushed voices in their birth room but people kept talking, what would you do?

Now, there is no objectively “correct” answer for a lot of these. The answers will either align with what I am comfortable with, or I would decide that the approach is not what I would find helpful.

This approach does mean you will have to do a little bit more work. However, who you have in your birth space (or even with you postpartum) really does make a difference, and, as it’s a pretty big investment, it really is worth it.